April 17, 2023

From Ben: Sanity. Overrated?

"Hey! How are you? Do you have a quick second? My friend and I are missionaries for our church and we're curious if you'd like to hear a scripture to go along with your lunch?" 

"What do you want?!?"

"Oh, not a good morning, eh?" (Wrong thing for me to say)

"What'd you say to me, Jesus boy?! 

 

And the man rose from his bench, starting to walk towards us. 

Fury in his eyes, fists clenched

"This is it for us, we gonna die" my brain thought "if he swings, do we swing back?" 

"Well! Have a great day!" 

And we bee-lined speedwalked past the angry man, eyes determinedly straight ahead as he continued to swear and threaten. 

10 seconds later

"Oh NELLY, Elder Wack, we legit almost got jumped back there"

(In his German accent) "Yes, that is why we are two. After he started following you, I looked at him in the eyes, and didn't look away"

"Thanks, Elder. I appreciate that"

I'm grateful for Elder Wack.

He's slightly shorter then me, but really has a rock-solid will and amazing confidence. It's a blessing to be able to serve with him. 

And on a second glance back to the swearing man, he really was having a bad day.

We were walking down town Oshawa and had unsuspectingly waltzed into the Ghetto. 

Drug abuse and challenging circumstances define the streets and if I were in those circumstances, who's to say I wouldn't say my two cents to two youngins in white shirts and ties 

There was a three day stretch where I kinda got locked into a slump mindset. 

It was such a bizarre three days because the my brain knows it's not in the right zone, but that didn't make it easier to escape. 

The conversation of the mind is something like this

Dang, it sure would be nice not to have to deal with some of these responsibilities right now --- ahh, but Ben, you know that any thought that tries to take you away from responsibility is not a worthwhile thought, that probably didnt come from the Spirit --- yeah, true, but it still would be nice --- hey! Stop that again ...

Or

Oh man, that lesson could have gone way better, it would have been cool to have learned how to teach somewhere along these last 24 months --- ahh, but Ben, you know better than any that it will always be a learning experience, stay humble, eh? --- yeah, true, but DANG --- Oi! Be kinder to yourself... 

Or

Oh man, I'm mad excited to read this book when I go home, to think about new things or to tackle new challenges --- heyo, be careful now, Ben, all things in their season, magnify what you've got right now, eh? You're apart of a great work, love the moments you have right now --- tis true, tis true, BUT. What the books! The books!...

Something along those lines 

In either case there are a couple of solutions that presented themselves. 

The first actually came through the Addiction Recovery Program.

We met a member in a Tim Hortons who was a leader for an AA group, and we talked with him about the 12 Steps. 

It's amazing. Golly. 

I don't need an addiction to benefit from the doctrinal and inspiring ideas within the 12 step program. 

Step #1

Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable.

The catch is, even outside of addiction, have we any power to progress spiritually or to overcome the natural man and woman inside of us in and of ourselves? Do we hold any ability to heal spiritually or break free from mediocre discipleship outside the strength that comes from being linked and strengthened by Jesus Christ? 

As far as my understanding goes, no. We have none.

So, admitting to ourselves that we are powerless to overcome our natural selves outside of the healing and strengthening power from Christ is still a step we all must take. 

Stephen Covey in his Spiritual Roots of Human Relations says simply

"The best a man can be, he must be" 

And President Nelson in April 2017 said

"When you reach up for the Lord’s power in your life with the same intensity that a drowning person has when grasping and gasping for air, power from Jesus Christ will be yours"

So if we gotta admit that we can do nothing of ourselves, and it is through that means that we, through the gentle Christ, become everything we were meant to be, then we must do it. 

The best we can be, we must be, so let us be. 

The second presented solution for breaking free from the slump mindset, was to start talking out loud. 

This really puts one on the watch list for the loss of sanity, but whether in writing or in speech, sometimes, I think, you just gotta get the thoughts out of your head. It makes it easier to digest and detect the fallacies of our brain. 

So, and this is still experimental, I'll just start muttering some of the thoughts my brain is blazing through. It kinda works not gonna lie, I just have to do it in moderation so I don't actually start losing it. 

Hope that sums it up 

Love you each. 

Hope the week goes well.

P.s. this emoji  is so great. So much meaning. Thought I'd remark

[Some Truman G Madsen BYU devo quotes, my wallpaper of the current scriptures to memorize, a totally random picture I found on Facebook with Dad and I, some comp adventures and district adventures]

Benjamin Smith

From Dad: Each life that touches ours for good

Dear Ben,

What a wonderful time of year. Spring is finally here, the sun Is up at 6:30 and sets at 8:30. Mom and I just went out on the step and soaked in the sun and talked of our plans for the house and yard this year. 

I wanted to share with you that your Easter video has touched lives. Hope you don’t mind that I’m sharing it with everyone :)

Today my ministering visit to the Francis’s turned into a family affair when they decided to invite the family and the Berg Family for a fire and S’mores. The Berg family is a young couple with two super cute young boys and they are a bright addition to our ward. They are super friendly and he is a magician. We enjoyed visiting with both families and I reflected on how impactful both families have been on our lives and others in the Ward. We truly don’t realize how much our lives can affect others for good. 

My insight from Stake conference today was from President Wongs talk discussing the condescension of Christ. He condescended to come to earth to suffer with and for us but what struck me was his follow up statement teaching that Christ still condescends to our level to help us still in our lives today. I’m grateful to believe in such a personal Savior. 

I enjoyed a phone call with my Mom this evening. I’m glad I called as she was feeling lonely.  She is probably planning to come up for your arrival home. We’re hoping your flight doesn’t come late in the evening as we also have our community choir concert that night! Good timing eh?  If you get any say in the matter advocate for an earlier flight!

Last night Madison’s family came for dinner. I really like her family. She has two siblings, Chase (20) and Logan (17). Her dad, Kevin has a great sense of humor and her Mother, TeLeni is super friendly.  Chase was quite outspoken but Logan was quite quiet. Abby and Mia admitted to social anxiety about getting to known her. I watched 3 YouTube videos to figure out the perfect home made French fry method and they turned out fantastic!

Abby and Garret attended the festival of the arts at the Winspear. Abby and Megan has some photos displayed. 

Remember when you played the piano and I think your school chior sang and you danced around in front?

Mia has been torturing Coco with the melodica and harmonica. She can’t help herself she has to howl 

Mom is pretty pleased with herself and we’re so proud of her for finishing off her final 6000  word research paper.  Another successful University  semester. 

The summer is starting to shape up and we’re excited to have you home again. Not to make you trunks. 

Finish strong my son!!

Dad.