November 15, 2021

From Ben - In 3 seconds or Less

It was a stellar week! 

A couple of the defining moments are... 

We had a lesson with this couple.

They had requested a Bible a while back but became interested in the Book of Mormon during our brief exchange while talking about the Bible. So, we set up a time to meet them, asked if they could write down any questions they had, then to let us know. 

After driving the hour in their direction, getting lost, and missing the address multiple times, we found their cute little house. When sat down and began to talk, the boyfriend started asking these deep doctrine questions, right outside of the gate; and we came to find out that they had done some research, had found, and were referencing a web page called

 

'9 Things You Should Know About Mormons Before They Knock On Your Door" 

Which I thought was actually a pretty creative page name. :)

However, I guess it kind of gave a distorted view because we had to answer a resounding NO to the question of if we were modern day polygamists. 

Some of the questions they asked involved the Doctrine of the Trinity, the form of God, the origin of God, False Prophets, Satanic Deception and the likes. 

We first started to try to resolve their concerns with a plea to the Bible, but it became apparent quite quickly that we weren't going to go anywhere with that, especially in regards to Restored Doctrine. 

So, we reset the stage, and started talking about the Book of Mormon. 

It became pretty obvious that this was what we should have done from the beginning, because there was a near immediate change of feeling in the room, me and Elder Hartman started teaching in better unity and clarity, and they really started listening (which is possibly one of the greatest gifts and feelings, to have someone sincerely listen) 

We explained that anything we say really holds no clout unless the Book of Mormon is true. 

In fact, we explained, as Joseph Smith once did, that we really have nothing if the Book of Mormon is false.

It is the cornerstone of our religion, the ultimate evidence. 

As Satan can appear as "an angel of light" to deceive, they were curious if that was what happened to Joseph Smith. 

It was a really cool thing to be able to testify and bear witness of the primary purpose of the Book of Mormon: To prove and stand as another testament, alongside the Bible, the Divinity of Christ. 

We prayed for them on the way out, blessed them with comfort and peace, and rejoiced as a companionship in our cold vehicle on the drive home. 

Lessons like these don't happen as often as we'd like them to, but it sure lifts the spirits when it does. 

District Council

We only get one in-person district council per transfer, so we really had to make it count. 

And my my did it count. 

We're an all Elder District, so I was somewhat nervous we were going to lose the natural refining graces that a Sister Companionship brings; however, for the most part, my fears were in vain. 

Elder Baynes and Myers, who are both from Southern Alberta, taught a powerful lesson about the purpose of technology and warned about letting "this garbage" (being the phone and its many distractions) take away from the beautiful reality we call life. They then made a strong case for "becoming homies" with our companions and exhorted us to seek to become better friends, as, odds are, we only get to be companions with them once. 

We had a powerful object lesson involving a chocolate bar scavenger hunt and the role of missionaries in the work (I played the deadbeat guide and snubbed some of the district from getting their chocolate), and then capped off the council with some Shawarma Poutine. 

Time flies so fast on a mission. Heck. 6 months has just about moon-walked its way across the stage already. 

We have a 75 year old bi-polar lady in our ward who loves to call the missionaries, morning and night. 

Sometimes she calls us on her peaks, laughs and jokes around with us, and says goodnight or good morning with joy. 

However, more often than not, she calls us on her slumps.

When in this mindset, she has a really difficult time believing anyone cares about her, becomes accusatory of our motives as missionaries, see's little hope of the future and wishes she could just die. I've come to learn that while there is power in telling someone we love them, if it is not enforced with deed, word, and thought, it can become a shallow phrase. When in her slumps, we used to tell her that we loved her, over and over again, hoping it would sink in and convince. However, as time has gone on, we've instead started to tell her what specific things about her we appreciate and are grateful for. And while we still tell her that we love her, we've also started to include in our usual conversation, the real and literal love of God and our Savior. 

One time this week she called and it was bad. She wasn't accusing us about anything, she wasn't blaming the rest of the world, and she wasn't angry. Just sad. We told her we loved her. 

She replied. 

"I know. I just don't love myself" 

There are moments in missionary life that bring everything straight back to earth. I'll get lost in my head, be concerned about things that don't matter, and miss the mark. But it becomes very real sometimes. And it's in moments like these that the fog of selfishness lifts and I can actually see the people around me. 

Our hearts broke, and we, not being therapists or having any experience when someone is in this mindset, just did our best. We told her we were grateful for her laughter, for her kindness towards us, for telling us about what she recently watched in her Soap Opera's or while watching Chicago PD. 

And we talked about Christ. 

I unfortunately make the idea and image of Christ really abstract sometimes. I forget, often unconsciously, that He does in fact live. And that He is actively taking a role in our lives. Daily. Moment to moment. From triumph to sorrow. 

We talked with her, prayed with her, and with the help of unseen angels, were able to get her laughing. 

It is not easy to love ourselves sometimes. And I mean in a mature, humble way. 

For whatever reason, we don't find it a problem to declare all out war on our own self-esteem and self-worth. 

Maybe because we believe we deserve it, maybe because we don't have the energy to try anything else, maybe it's to avoid responsibility (big expectations = big effort) 

I don't know. 

But I do know that it's a lie. 

To make our divine potential and worth less out than what God has decreed it to be. Now I don't know the perfect answer, and I myself am also pretty darn good at giving my own efforts a crushing right hook in the boxing match of worth. But I know that the Doctrine of Christ is the ultimate factor. We know our divine worth. We know that the opinion of the world, as convincing as it is, is nothing in comparison to the unchanging opinion of God. 

We know that Christ sacrificed Himself so that we can be healed, saved and cleansed. Not only from the natural scars of sin, but from the warped opinion and damaging thoughts we inflict on ourselves. 

What a wild adventure life is, eh? What a journey. 

One more thing! 

I was able to go on exchanges with an Elder Leavitt. 

While driving, he asked the question of "what superpower would you have if you could choose?" 

Now, I've been thinking about this question for a long time. And the superpower I have chosen, that I think we can actually get, Is to be able to change someone's life in a single, short interaction. 

I know of select individuals that have changed my life in very brief exchanges.

- A lady at Rona who confidently sang Disney songs while cashiering 

- A Sister missionary with a smile of unfeigned love at Zone Conference. 

- An Elder who gave a firm handshake and looked me in the eye. 

What would it take to change a life in 3 seconds or less? 

I've got some thoughts about how we can do it. About how we can prepare ourselves in mind, motive and method to do such a thing. But I think it's probably different for everyone. So I won't try to answer. 

Then the next big question would be, what if you had more than 3 seconds? What if you had a day, a week, a year, or a lifetime to make a difference on someone?

Kind of a cool thought to think if you ask me. 

Well. My emails are kind of becoming my own thought journal. 

Thanks again guys. I love ya!

- Elder Smith. 

1) The end of one of our exchanges. They played pickleball. We left to Timmins

2) "Turn your face towards the sun. Let the shadows fall behind you!"

3) Our angel Gisele. She was feeling a bit down so we paid her a vis

From Mom - Hamster Wheel Strategies

Dear Ben,

Thanks for your quick call last Monday. My mom and dad loved seeing your face and hearing your voice even if it was just for a few minutes. Mom is having heart problems, which is not a surprise as it seems to run in her family. As a result she needs to take her own blood pressure and record it every day. While I was there her blood pressure went down (a good thing) and we can’t decide if it’s because:

1) I’m a calming person to be around. 

2) We read the instruction manual together and she started using it properly; or

3) We went for a walk every day.

Probably a combination of all three. Ha. It was a beautiful thing to spend time with them without the bustle of a holiday or a million other people around. I was starting to feel like my life was a hamster wheel and I was running on it 24/7. It doesn’t feel good to spend all your energy going nowhere. 

Happily I had time for a lot of conversation with both my parents, which was amazing. 

Strategy Number 1 For Getting Off the Hamster Wheel:  Seek out and take advice from older people, especially from the ones who love you. They’ve lived longer and have such great life experience and wisdom to glean from. And typically, you can find someone who has been where you are and knows the best advice to help. 

Yesterday, we had the Sosa’s over for dinner and they brought their 23-yr-old family friend. We got on the topic of “getting boyfriends” because the girls think this is one of the great mysteries of life. Hahaha. It was a hilarious conversation but the take-away was … it’s better to wait until maturity sets in before getting into relationships. Essentially they gave the girls permission to not worry about it right now. Which I appreciated. 

Strategy Number 2: Get Off Social Media and Replace it With Meaningful Study. This is probably not a practical long-term strategy, especially for you right now, I know … but seriously. I had to go off for my own mental state. I think it’s been about a month now. I miss out on a few things but I love thinking my own thoughts again. I appreciate dipping out of some of the polarized issues. (Right now it’s about vaccinations. I’m seeing discrimination towards anti-vaxxers happen right in front of my eyes, and since many of my close friends are not vaccinated, they kind of have to go into hiding.) It seems like we humans have difficulty disagreeing. 

I’m continuing my Topical Guide Jesus Study and also starting the Dhammapada, which is the main Buddhist spiritual text. Something I’ve found fascinating about studying timeless values that span cultures (and actually studying anything) is that I see it manifest in my everyday life immediately. What we focus on … grows … right? When I’m on the hamster wheel of social media, I find my focus is scattered and distracted, but when I’m personally focused on deep, meaningful study, it translates immediately into my own thoughts and actions and I do so much better in life. I still haven’t figured out how to be the master of social media without it mastering me, but I’ll have to figure out something better than my feast-or-famine strategy. 

In any case … a pattern that I’m seeing in my study is that the antidote to hate, contention and self-righteousness is to somehow increase the love of God in our hearts. It’s such a fascinating psychology, but it WORKS! Appealing to God in the middle of a disagreement helps me to get out of my own brain and see that person as someone of value and validity. I listen better. My pride disappears. Dialogue actually happens. Love become a possibility. It only takes one.

I’ve been practicing … and it feels pretty good to be off that hamster wheel. 

Strategy Number 3: GET FRESH AIR

It seems like such a simple thing … and it is! Whenever you feel stuck, just get out and breath that fresh air, even as it gets colder. You know that Vance Joy lyric, “look up because you just never know what you might see.” Truth! 

I had the opportunity to go on a super long walk with my friend, Siobhan. And it’s the first time in my life that I saw the cutest little porcupine, foraging in the middle of the day. I’ve seen porcupine road-kill and sometimes little glimpses at dusk and usually far-away, but this little guy was out in broad daylight. So cute and such a little happy-maker.

So, that was my week … getting off the hamster wheel. Haha. I could also add the value of cleaning something, getting a massage, eating something and serving someone but I don’t have any good stories or pictures to match those. 

The deVries’ asked about you yesterday. They send their love. 

I’m also mailing your Christmas package this week, so any last-minute requests?

We love you lots, my boy. We think of you and are so proud of you. Keep striving. Keep facing your roadblocks. You’ll always get through them eventually. 

Life is amazing. All of it. 

Love,

Mom