November 1, 2021

From Mom - Absurd

Dear Ben,

In preparation for any email to you, I will look back on my pictures and remind myself of the chain of events that made up the week. And … well … there are no pictures …. except motivational quotes and Nathan Pyle comics. This tells me that the week was too frantic to take pictures because I know it certainly wasn’t a boring week. Luckily, we have Abby, who takes pictures of anything she finds beautiful, funny or noteworthy. Here’s an example …

We were sitting around chatting at the close of the day and she snapped this photo proving how tired we looked. I was undecided on being offended or just laughing about it. Her words, as she zoomed in on our faces, “just look at the bags under your eyes!” We decided to laugh, as apparently this picture falls into the funny category.

( In spite of still having bags under our eyes. )

Between dad’s two jobs, me driving the girls and doing respite for Wendy and the girls’ schedules ramping up (plus Halloween), it’s been busy.

The highlight of the week was probably the youth Halloween party at our house on Friday night that the girls planned. Mia hung ghosts in the trees and carved the pumpkin, Dad set up the pickle ball court, I had a caramel apple station on the back deck and Abby mingled. They did Bloody Murder for the game which was okay, but there were too many people to have it be a full success. Still, I think everyone had fun. The fire was roaring and we ended the night with some spectacular fireworks donated by the bishop. Do I have any pictures? No, I don’t. But I think Abby put some up on Instagram.

Prim had two kittens the night before Halloween and one stillborn. She seems to have trouble with deliveries now. It was really similar to last time where she had trouble with the first two so stopped her labour somehow. Let’s just say we’ll be getting her fixed after these kittens find new homes. Just in time for Christmas.

Josh and Sam invited some girls out to the house last night. Apparently a spectacular aurora borealis was predicted but it was a no show. Still … it was fun to host. They hung out, played some Dutch Blitz and laughed it up until around 11. Dad and I went to bed early although we tried to stay up (refer to above picture).

We still have the option to attend church in person or zoom in and Dad really wanted to go in person yesterday. I’m so glad we did. It was the Primary Presentation … my favourite Sunday of the year. They made a pre-recorded series of children answering questions and taking turns singing

and we got to watch it on the big screen with about thirty other stalwarts. I may have laughed out loud while simultaneously shedding a discreet tear. One example …

Kloe: “Teddy, how can you be a missionary?”

Teddy: “I don’t know.” (while Rosie is nudging him.”

Kloe: “Remember we talked about it?”

Teddy: “Oh yeah! Be nice to people and be friends.” (with a big smile)

James and Elizabeth sang that song about “if you don’t walk as most people do.” (I can’t remember the title but I may have shed a small tear).

Plus, the meeting in total was only 45 minutes long so Mia approved entirely.

The truth is, I love the Gospel. If I was the last person left on the planet who believed it, I guess I would be the last person on the planet who believed it. I would stand alone. I can’t help it. Whenever I have a sincere prayer or a meaningful scripture study, something beautiful happens to my heart that I can’t get in any other way. The trajectory of my life changes for the better. It’s so comforting and peaceful. I love it. And to hear children saying Gospel truths in their innocence always gets me.

One child: “I feel Jesus’ love when I’m scared and I pray for help.”

Or, “when I’m sad, I think about Jesus and I don’t feel sad anymore.”

Oh, there is truth to those statements.

My current study is to mark every scripture pertaining to the Saviour indicated in the Topical Guide. There are FIFTY SEVEN sub-topics, all with their own set of scriptures. It’s going to take me awhile. It’s kind of a tedious exercise but I’m finding hidden truths that I’d never considered before. Like, when Jesus called James and John they “straightway left their nets.” How did they know? And how could they just leave their livelihoods like that? I know we’ve seen the dramatized version on The Chosen, but seriously … how did they know? I find myself thinking about it.

There is something transcendent about living a life of belief and faith that really can’t be explained logically. It just IS. It just EXISTS. And it looks completely absurd to the non-believer. Anyway, I hope you understand what I’m trying to say.

Nathan Pyle is poking fun at psychologists in this comic (which is why I have a snapshot of it because I sent it to Mark) but you could kind of relate it to missionary work. “Creature repair expert.” Haha. Yeah, right. “Just” convince anyone to have a meaningful relationship with the Saviour and you’re good to go. It works in my personal life anyway.

The weather is getting colder and we are battening the hatches for winter. It’s cozy time.

So, let’s live our absurd lives with joy and meaning. It’s actually amazing.

We love you so much, my boy.

Mom

From Ben: "Those Who Don't Try, Never Look Foolish"

This week was a curious one.

Tuesday was transfer calls so we were sweating buckets to find out if either of us were leaving.

Blessedly, we are both staying in Timmins! The land of the North, home of the bears, and city of potholes.

Elder Hartman is now a District Leader though!

We're going to see if we can be "difference-makers," but that probably means we need to "alter the affairs among the [district]"

And while I'm not the final authority on anything, I get to help Elder Hartman try to walk the line of inspiring instead of requiring, lifting and empowering instead of pulling and demeaning, and challenging instead of nagging. It's kind of exciting! Our downfall towards mediocrity will lie in how well we remember to include God in the game plan.

We'll see how it goes. The transfer is going to be four weeks instead of the usual six, so we'll see how much possible good we can do in a single month.

I usually put out free Bible and Book of Mormon ads in the Buy and Sell Facebook groups of whatever area we're in.

Some do well, and people reach out, and others just get absolutely ridiculed. It's a blast and I love it.

Because of one of these ads, a lady reached out and asked if we'd be down to do a Bible study with her and her husband.

We were stoked because people don't usually request personal Bible studies, and the wife was really nice (we were talking over Facebook messenger)

But boy oh boy.

We drove up to their house and the first thing we saw was a scripture taped on their outer window about the need to repent (not a bad thing, but it was kind of a red flag)

True to our sense of foreboding, when we walked in, the first thing we saw was a Book of Mormon on the table beside the husband's open Bible on top of a binder full of notes and scripture references.

Turns out he was a minister and was attending a Bible College.

We were kind of bummed. We had planned to talk about some of the sermon on the mount and had prepped some pretty sweet questions about it. But it immediately became apparent that we had been invited there to be convinced of the error of our ways.

It was the first time I felt like all the people whose concern is that religion is "forced upon them"

There are right ways of inviting others to learn of Christ and what one believes, and definite wrong ways as well.

Now I know what it feels like to be hit the wrong way.

Anyways, it was wild.

He had come to God through apologetics and logic. Which is actually kind of cool, no lie, but there's only so much truth the unaided human mind can discover.

Nothing really got accomplished but we left a little smarter than we were before.

Regardless of someone's intentions, when they challenge our thoughts, beliefs and experiences, we can often come out with better questions and a more refined understanding (if we stay humble throughout the process that is). I'm definitely excited to understand the Bible a bit better now.

You guys know the saying "set your expectations low and you'll never be disappointed?"

That saying is becoming a real slap in the head for me.

Something that I've become unexpectedly adept at is just that, setting my expectations low so I'm not as disappointed.

There's a real danger here though!

Because I set my expectations low about myself as well! Which I do so I'm not as disappointed in myself. The problem is that the way I act is in a large part determined by the expectations I have of myself. And now, all of a sudden, I've found myself in this middle ground, where I am not usually disappointed (not a bad thing) but where I rarely rejoice or am excited either!

I've slowly built myself an "Eden" mindset. In my own opinion, after Adam and Eve ate that sweet forbidden apple, were cast out, had to work for their food, had to choose for themselves and could suffer, if they had the opportunity to go back into Eden, they wouldn't take it. Or, if they did, they would leave it again as fast as they could.

It's straight up no fun to be apart of "the cold and timid souls that neither know victory nor defeat". True living happens "in the arena" or, as one of Elder Hartman's country songs sings "Life's like riding broncs it's a battle... but I'd rather spend 10 seconds in the saddle, then a lifetime of watching from the stands" The Garden of Eden cannot be a paradise to anyone who has experienced the slightest flavor of sadness or joy. Having neither is a unique kind of misery.

(Not saying I'm miserable either, I'm just realizing that I need to be a bit bolder and start setting my expectations a little bit higher, which will put me in more risk of disappointment, but will also open the possible gate of great excitement and experience)

Our dance through life needs more than one rhythm.

I'm so excited to be disappointed

(Shoutout to Sister Hutchins for starting this train of thought)

I'll let y'all know how it goes next week.

We also had the opportunity to give talks on Sunday! I hit them with the soft entry approach, and Elder Hartman hit them with a bit of fire. It worked well.

My new goal this week is to drink more water.

I'll leave it there.

Love you guys. Be "in the arena" this week eh?

1) We saw a wolf crossing the road, and this is me in my hast taking a selfie instead of a picture of the wolf.