February 21, 2022

From Ben - God Science

Trying to be awesome is so flippin' hard if you're trying to be awesome for the wrong reason. 

I'm coming to realize that doing anything to up my clout amongst fellow missionaries is a horrible motive that stresses me out, and wipes out legitimate spiritual power. 

Soapboxing too. It's an accidental form of teaching that us missionaries can default to that makes us seem way greater than we actually are, and in a subtle way puts down those we are trying to lift up. 

On the flip side though! 

Teaching someone with their best interest in mind, and with the hope to help them see and know Jesus Christ for themselves is far more rewarding and powerful. 

I read a document this week created by a missionary who said (paraphrased)

"We as missionaries are not equipped in any way to help people with their personal problems. 

What we have to offer is our sincere testimony, and the invitation to help them build a relationship with God,

which actually helps them with their problems. 

So let's do what we're supposed to do"

What a revelation! That makes missionary work so much easier! 

Anyways, I was pretty happy to explore that idea in more, as you can tell 

Bus surfing is a risky business, but it is very fun. 

Depending on the bus driver changes the difficulty and challenge of staying on your feet. 

At the beginning of the transfer, when I was less experienced, I just about sailed down the entire bus aisle when the driver put on the brakes.

Now I only get launched when I'm not paying attention. 

Elder Durant got caught off guard once this week and  absolutely body-checked a dude when the bus unexpectedly stopped. 

It's so fun! I love it! 

TTC (Toronto Transit Commission) bus drivers are the heroes of the city. 

They all wear the same tie, and It's my dream to get one. 

I had asked an off duty bus driver one time if it was legal to bribe one off their tie when they were driving. 

Turns out you cannot. What a bummer. 

Yesterday however, after a stand-by bus driver turned down our invitation to hear our message, we explained our plight to him, and our desire to recieve one of the famed ties. 

To our suprise, and delight, he told us that if we met him at that spot next week, at the same time, he would have a tie for us. 

A monopoly of goodness does not exist within the Church. This man is a hero and a legend. 

And next week, if he does in fact have a tie for us, his name will forever go down in history as the coolest bus-driver to ever live in Toronto. 

I'm staying another transfer in Weston, so I get to learn to love these streets and these people a little more sincerely. 

We were able to set up a lesson with an inactive Sister in our ward. 

Her mother has a small form of dimensia and a diamond personality.

She asked three times where we were from, and cracked the same joke three times in a row, laughing cheerfully everytime. She is an angel. 

After talking for a little, and getting to know them, we asked the inactive Sister what it was that made her choose to be baptized 23 years prior. 

It is in moments like this, that I remember sometimes just how inexperienced I am. 

As a missionary we build both competence and character to fulfill our calling, both, ideally, being centered on the character and competence of Chist. 

And we can become quite able and proficient in missionary work, in inviting, talking, and teaching. 

But we (at bare minimum, I) get lost in the work sometimes (and not in the good way). 

And every once in a while, there are moments that snap us (me) back to our (my) original Why. 

Moments that lift us (me) above the foliage and help us (me) see the sun again. 

And a moment like that happened when talking to this Sister. 

She shared her conversion, and an amazing experience she had had. 

In explaining the critical moment of her story, when, after much stress and panic, her Red Sea parts, and the hand of the Lord shows her a way out, the Spirit filled the room (a sudden change in the feeling of the conversation, peace enters the heart and mind, and a solid connection between everyone is felt) and she started tearing up. 

We explained that our purpose as missionaries was to help her exactly where she was at, and invited her to come to church on Sunday. 

And she did. 

Moments like these can be quickly forgotten. 

But in the moment while having them, there is a special, sacred feeling that really clarifies everything. 

During Friday morning's personal study, we unexpectedly got a call from a guy named Bosa. 

He told us that he did in fact believe in the "Mormon book" and that Jesus had in fact visited the Americas. 

(He had met missionaries some 3 months prior, but dropped them) 

He wanted us to come and visit him that morning. 

So, we did! 

When we arrived, he welcomed us into his apartment. 

I was the first to walk in. 

It was brutal. 

The floor was stained with a variety of many things, and was a scary sight to behold, 

And I hear Elder Durant behind me 

"Would you like us to take our shoes off?"

And Bosa,

"Yes please" 

There was no way on earth that I was letting my socks touch the suspect ground. 

Elder Durant realized his error too late, and had to take off his shoes.

Me, being a third party to the conversation, pled both deafness and neutrality, and walked in with my shoes on. 

We got him on date for Baptism in the very lesson. 

There is a LOT of work to be done, and if Bosa is able to develop the required faith, and we, as missionaries, don't shirk our duty, I'm really excited to see the changes that will come. 

Over Facebook, I was also able to have a conversation with a very intelligent, and very kind athiest Physicist. 

This guy was elite, he had completed his PhD in "high energy particle physics" and was semi-retired from a successful scientific career.

It was a cool conversation. 

The cool revelation I came to from it, was that similar to how we can not discover new particles without the aid of Hadron Colliders (totally read up about those things, it's such a fascinating invention) we cannot know the things of God except by the tool of the Spirit. 

God is incredibly scientific. Not magical. He works with legitimate natural laws, but at a plane and level that is eternal, infinite, and includes laws of love, faith, and righteousness.

We currently don't have the correct tools or capacity to understand those specific scientific laws, so similar to how, for a time, we still reaped the benefits of light and seeing, mankind didn't know if it was a wave, a particle, nor how fast it traveled. 

In time however, and over thousands of years, the tools and understanding of humanity developed until it was sufficient enough to gather legitimate data and correct theory. 

Over eternity, and divine experience, eventually we will understand these divine laws. 

But that'll come 

Finally! Went on an exchange with an Elder Kyle Wynder.

Bectells! He was telling me he knew you! 

He told me that he was a part of the graduating class that Rachel was in. 

What!? 

Small world, yo. 

It was stellar, I got some great insights from him. 

- District Council was also very spiritual

- Me and Elder Durant got the chance to give a talk on Sunday about faith and repentance which was cool

- Met a cool genius named Rafis. 

I also got called to be a Facebook page moderator.

Don't even know what that means, but it sounds... interesting...

The adventure continues. We haven't yet converted a gang. We'll get there eventually. 

Love you all! 

- Elder Smith

1) My Physicist friend's condition to be convinced of the existence of diety

2) The first message with my Physicist friend

3) A picture I received from Elder Hartman from Timmins with sweet Memére. 

4) An empty bus (now that's rare)

5) Elder Wynder, the absolute legend 

6) The intersection we hang out at while waiting for the bus on the daily. 

From Mom - Amazed

Dear Ben,

Old Man Winter is doing his typical February tricks and giving us one last kick at the freezing can. It’s -28°C today. I would love to hibernate, since there is no school today BUT it’s also the last day of the Silver Skate Festival. We can really go skating anytime this month but it’s about the snow sculptures for me. So, I have no choice but to bundle up and go. Besides, we’re meeting Josh and Sam there. Sam started his construction job and doing the work schedule that goes with it and we haven’t seen him PLUS it’s Reading Week, which means Josh has no school. We’ve convinced him his time would be best spent helping us finish the mudding, sanding and painting the basement walls to completion (5 years and counting). I’ll be amazed if that basement gets completely done by 2025. So Josh will come home with us. Another reason to brave the cold. 

We did get to see Josh and Madison yesterday though. They came for Sunday dinner. The highlight was watching them laugh over the ONE voice crack Josh did in Newsies, that Abby actually caught on camera. (The girl is a capturing genius.) We should send it to you so you can laugh too. Happily, Josh can laugh at himself, which is such an amazing personality trait. 

We had a good week because I wasn’t stranded once with the car. The girls are in full swing with homework and school. I’m so proud of them (and amazed, too.) Just like I was so amazed and proud of you when you went to school after a life of homeschooling. They work hard. They puzzle over challenging problems. They are good communicators. They are cheerful and lift those around them. Me and Dad talk often of our children and their goodness, tenacity and love-of-life. We’re so grateful for each one of our kids. 

Here’s the proof …

On Wednesday, I had the shocking realization that I’d missed an assignment for my University class. Typically, all assignments are due Saturday at midnight, but for some reason, this one was due on Wednesday morning and I missed it, not realizing . So after supper on Wednesday, I asked Dad to take the girls to Youth instead of me, so I could get the essay finished and submitted. 

Abby, condescendingly: “Mom. Don’t you have your assignments written on a calendar or something?”

Me, contrite: “I don’t have to because it’s right here! It was an oversight on my part.”

Abby, reprovingly: “Well, you should go through your assignments and set alerts for yourself so you never miss again.”

Me, sarcastically: “Thanks for that, Mother.” 

We’re all helping each other the best we can with this thing called Life. Ups and downs, feasts and famines, ebbs and flows … we’re in this together, always. And that is no small thing. 

Talking of ups and downs, Dad and I are going to go down to Glenwood this weekend to help Grandma and Grandpa with a busy couple of days. I think Grandpa is doing as well as can be expected, all things considered. He can handle one extra event once every week or so but when life gets busy, it’s too much for him. This weekend has multiple no-miss (to them) events (Isaiah’s baptism and Grandpa’s brother, Kevin, is getting remarried. Angie’s birthday, too!) So we’ll go down and ease the burden for Grandma in some way. It looks like the girls will stay home alone with their homework. Grandma amazes me with her determination and zest for life considering her challenges. So inspiring.

We’ll talk tonight!

Love you forever!

Mom